InsaneJournal

Snape’s Greatest Fear

“Professor,” Filch said, standing in the doorway of Snape’s office. The other man got to his feet.

“What is it, Filch?”

“There’s something in a cabinet on the third floor. I think it’s a boggart. Can you take care of it for a poor old Squib?”

How could Snape refuse? Delores Umbridge was a fool. “Alright. Lead the way, Filch.”

“You ever taken care of one of these before?”

“Not since the O.W.L.s.”

“Well if you can’t handle it, I’ll go get a more competent teacher.”

Snape shared this smirk. He knew that, while Filch really was going to get another teacher if necessary, his competence would never be questioned by the caretaker who had such faith in him.

“Here it is,” he said when they reached the room, though by now there was no doubting where the boggart was hiding. He tried to mentally prepare himself, but it was not easily done considering he had no clue as to what form the boggart would take.

“Now don’t forget this, you imagine it funny and call, ‘Riddikulus.’ Then laugh at it and—poof!—it’s gone.”

Snape nodded, though he already knew this. He had just never had a chance to face one of these since his greatest fear in the world had been a scoffing Lily Evans and a spiteful James Potter. Now he was way past that sort of thing. Since then, he had seen many things worthy of terror.

“Shall I open ‘er up, Professor?”

“Yes.”

“You don’t sound too certain. Really, Snape, do you think you can handle this?”

“Yes,” he said more firmly. “I just don’t know what it’s going to change into.”

“Seen a lot in your days and all. Well, brace yourself. I might as well get another teacher just in case.”

Snape was about to protest, but sighed and muttered a low, “Fine,” and Filch was off. It would be easier if Filch wasn’t present anyway, he supposed. What if his current greatest fear was embarrassing?

No time to waste, he decided, opening the cabinet magically, and finding it very surprising when he saw himself. The expression on the boggart’s face made the hair on the back of the real Snape’s neck stick up. “I know all your secrets,” said the boggart. “Naturally I would, as I’m you, Severus Snape, as you still are deep inside. You have a heart as black as your robes, don’t you? You can’t deny you make a bad teacher. All Death Eaters have poor teaching skills, or at least in my experience teaching has never included torturing your students.”

“I’m not loyal to your master,” Snape said quietly, speaking very rationally. “And furthermore, I do not torture students.”

“Oh really?” The boggart split into himself and Neville Longbottom. “Crucio!” cried the boggart, and Snape gave an involuntary yelp as he watched the boy scream and writhe. And the boy turned into Harry Potter, the screams changing too before the boggart let up on its other half.

Panting, boggart Harry glared at real Snape through eyes blurred with tears. “I can’t believe Dumbledore trusted you for so long. I knew he was wrong. You don’t belong in the Order, you scum.”

“Your Order is ridiculous,” said the boggart to Harry, not knowing he was reminding Snape that he needed to raise his wand and chant the spell. “Rape, torture, and murder are the most fulfilling things I have ever done. Dumbledore cannot give that to anyone.”

Harry turned into the first victim Snape had ever attacked, a muggle who begged Snape to stop using the Cruciatus, heaving in great sobs until it started up again.

“Riddikulus!” cried Snape, but somehow he couldn’t picture turning this into anything funny in his mind, at all. The man turned into Fabian Prewett who was slowly receiving drops of acid that burned at his face and neck, and wherever Snape chose to pour it.

Next, Fabian was a young Regulus Black who, just before his death, was being raped by Snape. It was a reward for figuring out Regulus was turning on the Death Eaters. Regulus cried out for him to stop, but boggart him persisted, looking straight at real Snape to say quite plainly, “You enjoyed it. I know you did.”

Real Snape was leaning back against one of the desks now, and there was the fall of the first tear down the side of his whitened, terrified face.

“You can’t escape the past. You’re as guilty as they all believe you are. Dumbledore’s an idiot to trust someone as despicable as you. I know everything you were, and I know you can never escape the mindset of a murderer—or a rapist.”

Boggart Snape was suddenly standing, and Regulus turned into Lily and James Potter.“I didn’t kill them!” Snape suddenly shouted.The boggart scoffed and turned back to the Potters. “Sectumsempra!”

“No!” the real Snape cried, his face expressing the utmost agony.

“You love having the feeling of power course through your veins, don’t you, Severus? You love it. I can tell. I’m exactly as you still are. You relished in their death, and you’d like to kill their son now, wouldn’t you?”

He gripped his wand and searched his mind for anything, anything that would make this better. Dumbledore’s voice sounded, “Riddikulus!” Snape didn’t even turn to see the man, he was frozen, staring at the scene before him.

But suddenly, boggart Snape called “Stop. I can’t work like this. I thought you two said you could act!” James sprang to his feet. “It’s not my fault I’ve never seen your stupid sp—ah!” he slipped in the false blood. Getting to his hands and knees, he tried to stand up, and slid again. Boggart Snape scoffed, nearly covered by the sound of boggart Lily giggling. Real Snape forced an odd-sounding burst of laughter out of himself by sheer force of will. The boggart only flickered, but then Dumbledore chuckled fondly and the boggart dispelled forcefully, flying out of the room, quite broken up.

Snape was still in shock, trying to quiet down the sobs that had just risen in him. He slouched over, crossing his arms, trying to keep quiet, but then Dumbledore’s arms were around him, lifting him to his feet and telling him it was okay to cry.

There was a long moment of emotional bleeding before Snape managed to relax and Dumbledore told him to look at him. When he looked up, Dumbledore spoke. “Listen. You had nothing to do with the Potters’ demise—your remorse for the occurrence remains unparalleled, even by Harry himself. You are a wonderful man, and no regret, no memory, should convince you otherwise.”

Snape looked away, but Dumbledore continued. “You are a helper of the helpless. You are the hope of the hopeless. You are the light and the protector of the future of the wizarding world. And you are loved.” He clasped the man to himself tightly, then shooed him out of the classroom, motioning that Filch get him down to the dungeon.

Dumbledore watched the two exit the classroom, and continued to think about Snape. Maybe, just maybe, Snape would be able to face the next boggart he came across. Though Dumbledore was not what one would call devoid of hope, it was true that most of the hopes he did have came from watching Severus Snape. After all, Snape was the hope of the hopeless.