InsaneJournal

Antonio the Juggler
The two Scandinavians were having a conversation in the recreation room, naked in the hot tub. While Skwisgaar sipped at a drink, Toki just let the warmth of the water loosen his muscles, relaxing him as he talked about his conversation with Murderface from the night before.

"So, I t'ink Moideface gonna beat up some gay fans or somethin'. I don't know, I just gives him Antonio's number."

"Ah, Antonio. De juggler. Good choice. Don't worry, little Toki." Skwisgaar took a sip. "Antonio will be just fine."

"How do you knows dat...for sures?"

"Toki, I t'ink Murdersface just wants someone to, ah, juggle his balls." He smirked slightly.

"Well if he wantseds a juggler, he got one. I didn'ts know Moideface had coicus balls lyin' around."

"He...does not."

Toki looked at Skwisgaar questioningly.

"He's gonna have sex with him," Nathan said from his spot between them.

"Ohhhh. I gets it. He balls." Toki squirmed.

"Right." Skwisgaar took another sip.

"So what's going on with him anyway?" Nathan barely glanced up from his laptop as he spoke. "I mean, has anyone even talked to Pickles lately?"

"Ugh, yeah. He won't shuts up about Murdersface. Pft. Keeps asking for an update. Excuse me, Mr. Run To Twinkletits, but your friend over dere ain't de only one with a problem. You know? Heh, and at least he's does-ing somet'ing about it."

Toki straightened. "Who? What?"

"Oh, I know," Nathan said. "So you think Pickles likes him too? I know he's into guys, sometimes. Depending."

"Right. And, yeah, I t'ink, you know, yeah, dat he's into Murdersface. Gots it bad. Maybe. Probably. Uh, possibly."

"So you have no idea?"

"Not really. No. But, I sut-spect, and I am, you know, good at telling dese t'ings."

"I guess we wait and sees," said Toki a little dramatically.

"Whoa, wouldn't it be freaky if two members of Dethklok just started dating, just started dating, out of the blue, and maybe it got leaked to the tabloids, and everyone wore shirts that were all 'Yeaaaah, it's MurderPickles!' or, you know, something like that—I'm not an expert at, you know, making up names although I am good at naming tropical hurricanes, but, anyway, wouldn't that be weird?"

Toki and Skwisgaar shared a look.

Nathan looked up from the laptop screen for a moment. "Guys. I said, wouldn't that be weird, two members of Dethklok, dating? Man!"

"I's...don't know. I'd have to see."

"Sames...here," Toki agreed.

"Anyway, I should get going. I'm starting to get all pruney. I think after I get dressed I'll go have some barbeque. Does anyone else want some? Toki? Skwisgaar?"

"Sure."

"Yeah. We bes dere in a little while." Toki was still looking at Skwisgaar.

"Okay. Man, I love barbeque, I LOVE BARBEQUE!" Nathan got out and started to get dressed again before leaving the other two to do the same.

Toki's gaze still had not wavered. "What...is it, Toki? You has somet'ing to says to me?"

Toki stepped a little closer, shaking his head, reaching out toward Skwisgaar. Skwisgaar backed up against the side, well aware that the two of them were both naked. Toki's strong hand gently brushed fingertips over one of his defined cheekbones before Toki's lips pressed a kiss to it.

Skwisgaar melted back against the side of the hot tub. "What was dat for?" he asked softly after a moment.

Toki's hand rested at the nape of Skwisgaar's neck. "Consider it you g'night kiss, Skwisgaar."

Skwisgaar smiled an open smile, reaching to pull Toki a little closer, embracing him. "Toki Wartooths, will you has another date wid me right now, eating barbeques?"

Toki's light blue eyes looked innocent as he hesitated for a moment. "With Nathins dere?"

"Why not?"

Toki smiled softly. "Okays. Why nots?"



Murderface willed his hand to stop shaking as he began to dial. When he was finished, the phone rang. Once.

Twice.

Three times.

"Hello?"

Oh yeah. He had to speak. "Um, isch thisch Toki'sch friend Antonio?"

"Si, it is Antonio. What can I do for you?"

"Uhhhhhh...."

"Is this William Murderface of Dethklok?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it isch."

"Great! So, what do you want with old Antonio, hm?"

"Old?"

"It's a figure of speech, Murderface. Anyway, I'm guessing Toki recommended me. But why? You won't, uh, put me in any physical harm, will you?"

"Why doesch everybody keep schaying that? No. No!"

"Okay. Well, what do you want?"

Murderface hesitated, running his finger over the tabletop a little nervously. "Okay, uh, Antonio, what do you think he recommended you for?"

"Knowing Toki, probably for juggling. But you want some other form of...entertainment, huh?"

He lowered his voice. "I'm not schure. How musch isch thisch gonna coscht me?"

"For Dethklok, I am pro bono."

"Yeah, I bet you are."

A pause. "So, you want me to come over?"

"Schure. Jescht...be dischcreet about it, okay?"

"Of course. When?"

"Um...how'sch, like, scheven for you?"

"Seven is fine."

"Okay, I'll...I'll tell the guardsch you're coming."

"Okay. See you later, Murderface."

"Right." He jumped slightly as he heard the phone make the loud sound that indicated Antonio had hung up. He put down his Dethphone and rubbed at his forehead.



Murderface took a shower, fumbling with the shampoo bottle, with the soap. He managed to slip and bang his knee on the metal of the door with a yelp. Making a face as the small scrape bled out, he muttered darkly to himself as he dug through the large iron medicine chest for a blood-red band aid, narrowly avoiding getting stabbed by a stray syringe. Just what he needed: a reminder of Pickles.

Finally he was all dressed, his knee bandaged, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth as he tried to pay attention to the separation of a pair of conjoined twins that was playing on the television.

"Hello, Murderface."

Murderface pulled his gaze from the TV and looked over at Antonio. Antonio was dressed business casual with a purple button-down shirt, and he had a very nice smile. He was somewhere in his thirties, looking like a man in his prime, which was exactly what he was.

"Is Antonio to your liking?"

"Schi. I, I mean, yesch."

Antonio smiled brightly. "We don't have to start right away, you know."

"Right. I mean, of coursche."

"What is this you are watching? Surgery. On those...uh, joined twins. Mm."

"Right. It'sch not a big deal, it'sch jescht, you know, a little entertainment. I can turn thisch off." He put his foot on the pedal.

"It seems to be relaxing you," Antonio pointed out. "Let's get to know each other a little, huh? I'm not here for money; I'm here because I like Dethklok."

Murderface seemed to relax a little. "I can get us some popcorn," he suggested.

"Whatever you want, Murderface."

Murderface nodded.

They shared some popcorn as the show moved on to an angioplasty.

"That'sch the most brutal usche of a balloon. Ever," Murderface pointed out.

"Si." Antonio tried to sound less bored than he was. "So. Why have you called someone over to...you know, all of a sudden? Didn't you used to hurt the gay fans?" There was an odd glint in his eye that Murderface missed as he watched the surgery.

"Well, yeah. Represchion, or whatever you wanna call it. I jescht...I have a large capaschity for hate, and I'm good at hurting people. Really good."

Antonio slowly fingered the thin scar that lined the right side of his face. "Of course. I bet you are pretty good at everything, huh?"

"Well, maybe not everything. I mean, schometimesch I'm bad at thingsch. Like, um, horscheback riding. It'sch not that easchy, the firscht time, you know. And alscho, I can't really make schertain mixed dri—"

"So anyway, Murderface," Antonio interrupted, "how long have you been wanting to have sexual relations with other guys?"

Murderface frowned. "What, am I under schome schort of interrogaschion? Isch thisch schtandard hooker proschedure with you?"

"Only when I'm with men as interesting as Dethklok. Forgive me. You're very interesting, William." He smiled his bright smile.

Murderface liked the sound of his first name spoken with that accent. "Well, yeah! Yesch, I'm intereschting. It'sch underschtandable."

Antonio placed his hand over Murderface's, which made Murderface raise an eyebrow and look over at him. "Good. I would hate to upset any member of my beloved Dethklok. Especially you. Toki tells me you can get upset pretty easy and that you hold grudges. I hope that won't happen between the two of us. Will it?"

"Well, no." He was a little taken aback. "Look, I can be a nische guy!"

"I believe you," Antonio said. That glint in his eyes was back.

They were more or less silent as the show ended.

"You know, no one in the world getsch to schee more gutsch, blood, and piss than a doctor."

Antonio nodded for a moment. "It's true. It's very true. So, are we just going to sit here?"

Murderface looked over at him questioningly. "You're the one who wanted to get to know each other or whatever. Anything'sch fine."

"Then by all means, lead the way."



"Yous really are gettin' more okay ats dis game, Toki." Skwisgaar watched Toki dance.

"Thanks you...I guess."

"Nos...prablem."

"I loves to dance. You dance a lot, Skwisgaar?" He was a little short of breath from the exertion.

"Not really, no."

"We gos out dancin' sometime."

"Eh, you know we can'ts do dat. De plub-squisity could ruins us."

Toki waited until the song was finished to reply. He stepped down off of the game, turning to face Skwisgaar. "Coulds be good P.R.. Doesn't gots to be bad."

Skwisgaar's Dethphone suddenly rang. Skwisgaar started looking at his fingernails, then looked back at Toki.

"Ares you going to gets dat?"

"Um...no."

Toki paused. "Whys?"

"Because, Toki, dat's bad manners. Gets a drink and sits down wit' me."



Maybe it was being with someone who wasn't a fellow band member. Maybe it was the fact Antonio used to have sex it for a living. Maybe it was the fact it was Murderface's own bedroom. Whatever the reason, it was nothing like his awkwardness with Skwisgaar. Murderface easily walked in and headed for the bed.

"You don't have to worry, you know."

Murderface glanced back at him. "Worry?"

"Toki said you were a little shy."

Murderface sat down. "Tohki? Oh, Tohki doeschn't know anything." He waited patiently as Antonio looked around the room. Finally, Antonio sat down on the bed next to him. "Tohki said you never schlept with him. Isch that true?"

"Of course. Toki does not sleep with fans."

"Hm, so he wasn't lying about that, huh?"

"You can usually tell when Toki is lying."

That was true enough.

Murderface made the first move, fingers unbuttoning Antonio's shirt without so much as another word. Antonio was surprised at the suddenness, since it was Murderface.

But, then again, he supposed Murderface had been suffering from some very intense repression. Repression that had led to injuries of fans before. But, of course, William Murderface wouldn't remember much about all that, would he? Antonio remembered.

The shirt came off easily enough, and Murderface tossed it aside, pausing to admire Antonio's chest. Antonio scratched at his chest, and a tattoo on his bicep caught Murderface's eye.

"Oh. What isch thisch?" His fingertips traced the image. "I could schwear I've scheen it before. Isch it from a movie, or a cult or schomething?"

Antonio smiled, but the expression didn't reach his eyes. "Where do you think it's from?" he asked a little coyly.

"No idea. It'sch an eagle on the world. I guesch you really like eaglesch or schomething."

"Si. It's a symbol very important to...my people."

Murderface pushed Antonio backward, leaning over his shirtless form. Antonio's dark eyebrows shot up. Then, his expression changed as his perfect lips quirked into a half smile.

Murderface allowed Antonio to slip his vest off of him, helping with getting his own shirt off. Then he lay on his side next to Antonio. "What elsche doesch Tohki schay about me?" he asked, intently fingering the button of Antonio's pants.

"Go ahead," Antonio said in response to the unspoken question, and paused to think for a moment about the spoken one. "He said you hate clowns, you like to lick hotdogs, and that once he made you a Macaroni Murder Lady for your birthday."

"Oh yeah." Murderface looked around the room for a moment, hand still on Antonio. "It'sch lyin' around here schomewhere."

Antonio moved his hips just slightly, bringing Murderface's attention back to him. Murderface's gaze moved back to the fly of Antonio's pants, where his hand was positioned, and he opened them, sliding them down, baring his guest. "Freeballin'," he said with approval.

"Is easier that way."

Murderface had to agree.

"So what about the hotdog thing, huh? You complain about them, but in secret, you lick them?"

"I'll khill that kid one day, you know. One of thesche daysch." He eyed Antonio's semi-erection.

"He's a nice kid. Maybe a little too trusting, but nice. And he has a thing for clowns."

"Let me guesch. You met him at the schircusch."

"Of course. He was in the audience, which caused a stir, and I had to meet him if I could—he is Toki Wartooth."

"Of coursche." Murderface rolled his eyes. He was obviously done listening to all the talk about Toki. Antonio spared him more for the time being. He spread out on the bed in a purposefully submissive pose.

"Enough about Toki?"

Murderface leaned in and nosed Antonio's cheek like a large, gentle dog. "Thought you could take a hint," he joked, quietly chuckling in his ear. His hand moved down and circled around Antonio, and he seemed to have no qualms about touching the other man.

The door opened and there was a high-pitched sound of surprise. It took Murderface and, actually, Antonio too, a moment to react to the invasion of their privacy.

"Whoops! Sorries!" Murderface froze above Antonio, who looked just as stunned. The door slammed shut.

Antonio pushed Murderface off of him, sitting up. "Was that—?"

"Tohki," Murderface confirmed. He looked back at the door for a moment. When he looked back at Antonio, he saw that he was putting on his purple button-down again. "Whoa. Whoa, Antonio, why are you in schuch a hurry? I mean, we barely did anything. We barely got schtarted."

"Hey, as much as I love Dethklok, we reschedule."

"Reschedule? Okay, when? How'sch like...Schaturday or something?"

"Sure, sure. Reschedule."

"Are you schure you gotta go?"

"Si, si, yes."

"Well, okay, but—"

"Bye!"

Murderface watched, still shirtless, as Antonio left.

"Yep. I'm gonna kill that kid schomeday," he muttered.



"Ohs, I didn't know Antonios was here."

"Oh yeah. He drop by to see Moideface. Guess he pay Antonio for sex after all. He no hurt."

"Oh, no. For Dethklok, I am free," Antonio assured Toki brightly, leaning a little closer, which was hard, because he already had his arm around the Norwegian.

"No thanks," Toki said just as brightly. "You wanna sit and talk wit' us, Skwsigaar?"

"I dunno. Seems weird. I guess, okay." Skwsigaar tentatively sat down.

"Talkin' bouts my childhoods back in Norsway."

"That's is one dark conversations. You know?" He chuckled.

"Well, Antonio a coi-ious guy."

"Yahs? I am curious toos, Toki."

"I t'ink you know most of it, t'ough I could probablies come up with some more stories."

"Okay, you can keep talkin's for a while, but first, I gotta say, Antonio, I know you're friends with Toki and all, but cans you just nots put your arm around him?"

Antonio looked surprised, backing off. "Fine, fine. No problem. But, uh...why?"

Skwisgaar looked a Toki, who nodded. "Well, we's kinda goin' out. It's a secret, alt'ough, I think Murderface knows."

"Oh. I see." Antonio looked a little thrown by the information. "How long has it been for you two so far?"

"Oh, it only been a couple of days, actuallies. But, yeah, we's datings. So...just so yous know."

"I hear you."

Skwisgaar nodded, taking a seat too. "So, Antonio, just how far did you get with Murderface? He's a little jumpy, if you know what I means."

"I don't know. He was not shy with me. Toki tells me you and Murderface were probably having sex just a few days ago. Is this true?"

Skwisgaar looked over at Toki. "You knew about that?"

"Yeah. Remembers, I jokes about it when you get in de hot tub. I knew yous were doin' somethin' at least, or at least thinkin' abouts it."

"Yes. It's true," he confirmed quietly. He turned to Antonio. "He freaked out when I opens my box of sex toys."

"Sex toys?" Toki's eyes were round.

"Uh...yes. Don'ts worry," he said hurriedly, "I would never show dat box to you."

Toki seemed to relax, and then frowned after a moment. "Why nots?"

"Toki, let's just concentrate on everyt'ing else, and if de sex toys come into play sometime down de road a ways, we just lets dem, but until den...we wait. No rushing t'ings, remember?"

"Yeah, I remembers."

"So, how out are the two of you?" Antonio asked. "I take it this is a long-term thing."

"I actually t'inks we ares both pretty serious."

"I know I serious."

"We's likes each other for...quite some time now."

"Yeah, Skwisgaar is my, how you say, souldate."

"Soulmate."

"I am very happy for the two of you," Antonio said, but his enthusiasm did not reach his sensuously dark eyes.