InsaneJournal

Body and Mind

                They helped each other into their cloaks. Snape then Conjured some surprisingly pretty flowers, for him being Snape.

"How long do you think Narcissa will keep you?"

                "Not more than an hour or so, I'd think," he said quietly.

                "I need to head out as well. Ron's. See you later, then. This'll be quick, I think."

                But Harry had no intention of going to Ron's. A subject they still hadn't broached was Lily. Mentioning Snape's old "love" or whatever, Harry's own mum, would no doubt leave him feeling young, inexperienced, and inadequate. He hated, despised, loathed feeling young, inexperienced, and inadequate. Especially when the person bringing on these thoughts was his dead mother.

                It was undoubtedly weird that the person who had shown him the most of his mother had been Severus Snape. Even now, with them living together, with the war over, he didn't feel as if much of his emotion held a place in their relationship. He chalked it up to them still being in the learning phase, but the truth was it had been over a year. It had almost been two. He feared his emotional needs would never be met by the man who was, though loving, quite cold.

                The coldness of Snape and Harry's own reluctance to bring up Lily both fueled his surprise and outrage to see Snape standing at his parents' grave. He didn't have to announce his presence; good old "war hero" Snape was, he heard Harry before Harry even realized he could be heard.

                Snape looked back at him from over his shoulder. "Liar," they both said at once.

                "I don't see Narcissa Malfoy anywhere. Not even a bloody albino peacock."

                "And this is nowhere near Ron's new place, Harry, is it?"

                Harry crossed his arms and just stood there. The cold air nipped at his exposed face and hands. He noticed that Snape had placed the Conjured bouquet at the foot of the grave, presumably with a slight sticking charm.

                "So that's it, then."

                "What's it?" said Snape, now back to staring at the grave.

                "You loved my mother." Harry moved forward, grabbing Snape's shoulders and turning him, nearly upsetting his balance. "Is sleeping with me some weird attempt to get into her pants? What about my dad, did you want to fuck him as well?!" Harry's chapped lips quivered.

                Snape raised an eyebrow. "Is that truly what you think?"

                "I don't even know what to think anymore, Severus." Harry shoved him a bit.

                Snape caught his balance expertly. "Stop acting like a child and we'll go home and discuss this like civilized people. Apparently you forgot to place a Warming Charm on your face and hands." Harry's slight flush only added to the reddened appearance of his nose and cheeks and ears.

                Snape fixed Harry's cocoa as Harry sat by the fire with a blanket Snape had placed around him.

                "Trying to bribe me to talk?" Harry quipped.

                "If I were to bribe you, it would not be with cocoa." He smirked softly when Harry rolled his eyes.

                "Here, sit," Harry told him, and Snape sat down on the chair next to Harry's spot on the couch. "I just . . . I feel at a disadvantage, Snape. You know my own mother more than I ever will."

                Snape said nothing, so Harry went on.

                "I know your mother wasn't the greatest, and neither was your father, but I think you're better off having grown up with them around at least. I mean, I'm not even talking about me. Think of Neville."

                "I try not to."

                "Severus, can we be serious here? As I was saying, I need more."

                Snape stared at Harry for a moment.

                "Severus? Snape?"

                "Finish your cocoa."

                "Almost done," said Harry, sipping at it some more. "But anyway, you still haven't—"

                "I can give you what you need," said Snape softly.

                Harry let out a sigh of relief. "I should have known I could count on you. You really do have emotions somewhere in that mind of yours, Severus, don't you?" He tipped the mug back all the way and drained it.

                "Or so I'm told." Snape pried Harry's fingers off the handle of the mug and took it into the kitchen, setting it in the sink with a dull clink. When he returned, he offered Harry a hand up. Harry still held the blanket tight around him until they sat on the bed.

                Harry didn't want to be the one to say the first word, but the slight silence was stretching, until Snape leaned in to kiss him. Something in Harry's heart deflated at the fact that all Snape apparently could do to comfort him was give him a good shag. He returned the kiss, albeit somewhat reluctantly, trying to convince himself he wasn't a whore.

                All of a sudden, the image of his mother's face was pushed into his mind, and he gasped. Snape used the opportunity to kiss him even more thoroughly, pinning his shoulders down. His rapidly-hardening prick throbbed at the fact he was in Snape's head again—a near impossible place to be.

                It was Snape who broke the kiss. "Is this why you were avoiding me?" he said huskily. "You could have just asked." Harry's mind saw Lily and Snape on their first time in Diagon Alley. Snape's own mother was more attentive to Lily than she was to Severus. They had virtually no money, and it looked to be Snape's first time there too, though he was acting less surprised than Lily was. Lily was whooping excitedly and gasping and altogether enjoying life, in stark contrast to Harry's Severus, though the dark-haired boy smiled at Lily's display every once in a while.

                Harry came back to reality panting, having just been thoroughly kissed again. He was shivering slightly. Even Snape took a moment to compose himself.

                "I can show you more memories, or we can warm you up in a way that cocoa, as much as you love it," he said with an eye roll, "cannot."

                Harry paused to think about it for a moment before saying, "Make love to me, Severus. Body and mind."

                Snape seemed to melt at the words. A wave of his wand had he himself naked, and he parted Harry's blanket before he did the same to Harry's clothes. "You love this ratty old thing," said Snape with a soft smirk as Harry grinned up at him.

                "I've become quite taken with ratty old things. Yourself included."

                "Cheeky."

                "And you love my cheeks, don't you?" said Harry, spreading his legs slightly.

                Snape rolled his eyes. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, so Harry sighed and reversed their positions with an ease Snape hadn't thought him capable of. He grinned at the look of surprise it gave the man.

                "Not expecting me to blindly submit, were you?" He leaned in and nipped at Severus's neck for a moment. "Keep going, Severus, show me more."

                Lily was out in the snow, building a snowman without any gloves. The next thing, they were both inside, Lily and Snape, in the Gryffindor common room, near the fire. Lily cuddled close to Snape, shivering. "Remember the spell next time, won't you?" "Yes, Severus, I will."

                As Harry moved his kisses and licks to the man's chest, to soft gasps that filled Harry with glee, the image of Snape and Lily changed to one of Snape telling a post-school Lucius Malfoy that when Lily slept it was like everything was right with the world, and when she laughed it was like his heart would never stop flying. Lucius chuckled and patted him on his greasy little head.

                As Harry's kisses moved lower and lower, Snape seemed to be losing his control over his mind. Random images of fires and gay wizard porn were flashing in front of his eyes sporadically, until he leaned in and licked at the base of Severus's cock, and the image blanked out completely to a soft, snowy white. Harry gently bathed the cock with his gentle, heated licks. He flicked his tongue at the glans until Severus melted, his soft moans seeming to beg Harry to go on.

                Harry engulfed the head alone between his lips, gently licking at the head, but when he lifted his eyes to meet with Severus's, he almost bit the man in surprise, luckily resisting the urge to react so harshly. Another image had flashed in his mind, another memory. His own mother had had the same prick in her mouth thirty years before.

Harry sat back up on the bed and panted, leaning over Snape, surprised. Snape looked up at him with wide eyes and cheeks that were undoubtedly flushed. He moved to push Harry off, but Harry refused to move, continuing to pin him down.

"You're not really . . . ."

"What?"

"Not a substitute," said Snape, his face absolutely flaming now.

"Oh. Yes, I know," said Harry.

"I'm so sorry," said Severus, shutting his mind. He squirmed a little.

                "Don't you dare lose that," said Harry, reaching down one hand to gently coax his love back to hardness. "And open your mind again."

                Snape's eyebrows rose and he seemed to shrink back into the bed.

                "None of that, you silly ponce, I want more. Show me you coming from that so long ago."

                Snape was still stunned into inaction, looking uneasy as if unsure whether Harry was merely playing with him or not. "Get off me."

                Harry shook his head. "Did you know the hat almost placed me in Slytherin?"

                "No. But I am beginning to see why," said Snape slowly.

                Harry smiled softly, kissed Severus's cheek, and then moved back down his body to try it all again, making sure to keep eye-contact. A flickering image of Severus and Lily at thirteen or fourteen in the very house they were in appeared, still wavering as if he still weren't certain it was a good idea.

                "This is so sick," murmured Snape, forcing his body to relax as Harry took him in his mouth again. Harry merely cocked an eyebrow in reply.

                It was slow going at first, but soon Harry's mouth had Severus in a frenzy, and as Harry came to the image Snape was projecting while rubbing himself on the sheets, Snape orgasmed as well.

                As he came down from the high, Snape motioned for Harry to slip into his embrace and they laid together for a moment. Harry was the first one to speak. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

                "I think I just helped you commit incest. Oedipal Complex, by any chance?"

                "Ha, ha. I just like watching you have sex as a teenager." Harry traced Severus's thin chest and the ridges of his ribs.

                "You wouldn't rather see Black and Lupin having it out?"

                "Voyeur," said Harry lovingly.

                "Look who's talking."

                "But, no. I'd rather see teenaged you. You were so very emo."

                "So very what?"

                "Oh, you're too old to understand. Anyway, I like watching you lose your control. Think you'd have noticed that fact by now."

                "I can be slow to come to certain realizations, I will admit. Perhaps we should spend more time on bringing such things into reality."

                "Can I feed you memories next time?"

                "If you are capable, then by all means." Severus smirked.

                "Cheeky."

                "You like my cheeks."

                "That's it. You asked for it, Mr. Snark. I am going to fuck you."

                "It's about time you did. How long was it since you last did?"

                "I can't even remember."

                "Best get to it, then."

                Harry moved to grab his wand for lubrication purposes, and also to try and send some memories to Severus's mind. "Prepare to be a voyeur once again."

                "Oh, Harry," mocked Severus with a roll of his eyes. "Make love to me, body and mind."

                Harry just smirked, knowing that meant he'd have to fuck Severus extra hard.