InsaneJournal

The death of Tonks had been a death of a part of him, a death that only added to the ever-increasing pile of the corpses of his parts that had already died. He had started dying the day he was bitten, so long ago in his childhood, and this was not necessarily something someone could not see on the outside, what with the greying of his hair and the caustic lining of his face.

He mourned her, and the wolf in him mourned her. He thought for a fleeting moment he wouldn't take the potion this next night, but Snape waited for his goblet, so Remus silently gave into the argument they never had as he downed it and handed it to the man awkwardly.

"Lupin." His soft blue eyes moved to Snape's face. "Get some sleep."

"Mediwizard's orders?" he asked with a soft laugh.

"Something like that." He crossed his arms. "If that is all—"

"Stay and chat a while?" he asked, knowing he was begging. If the dark-haired man was turned off by his desperation he did not show it.

A slight incline of the head was his answer and, relieved, he ran a hand over his face before motioning Snape downstairs and into the kitchen. "Can I get you something?" he asked as Snape entered the room behind him. "Brandy, coffee, tea?"

Snape declined.

"Well, if you don't mind, I think I'll make myself some hot chocolate."

Snape gave another quiet head-incline, polite.

Remus sat down near Snape, nursing his cocoa. "Don't fancy you're much of a chocolate person?"

"Not particularly, no."

It was Saturday, and Snape didn't have to hurry back anywhere this particular evening. "How," said Remus quietly, "How is the new job?"

"Lonely," he said, staring into the grain of the wooden table top.

Remus nodded, though he hadn't really expected this answer. "And the spying?"

He bristled a little, if only slightly. "Same as always."

"Keeping up a good front and all that?" he said lightly, to a slow nod from Snape. "Keep up the good work, Severus," he said.

This nod was slightly embarrassed, but thanked him for his support all the same.

"So you don't like chocolate. But is there a sweet you do like?"

"Mint," Snape said after a moment. "And also licorice."

"Ah, the cold and the dark, as always." He smiled gently at the other man, whose lip quirked slightly in amusement.

"It would appear so, yes."

"I...," said Remus suddenly, "had Sirius stay with me through the change, into the wolf, and after that she stayed with me. But . . . ." He looked up at Snape, his sky eyes pleading with Snape's New Moon ones.

"You wish me to stay?" his eyes were hooded.

"I know we aren't the best of friends. But it helps to have someone. Yesterday all I did was howl. The wolf is grieving, you see . . . ."

Snape looked increasingly uncomfortable. And then he nodded, with a deep sigh.

"I'm very grateful. It won't be very long now." He sent his mug to the sink. "I know you fear the wolf. But this may help you get over some of that."

It started after a few minutes of silence. Remus beckoned Snape behind him into the bedroom where he toed off his shoes and socks, and watched Snape patiently turn around so that the rest of his clothing could be removed. And he did not turn back around until he heard the first sound, a whimper low in the man's throat as the natural hair on Remus's body spread across his form, thickening and lengthening, and his hands cracked, bone by bone, becoming large paws.

There was no mistaking the devastation in the blue eyes as they stared at Snape, welling with tears of pain as the arms and legs changed, and he got down on all fours. Then came his torso, his hips, the sprouting of a tail, all these accompanied by gut-wrenching groans of pain. Snape sat down on the bed blankly, having been totally unprepared for all this. The neck elongated, the face distorting into something that seemed not at all as kindly as Lupin's, save for the eyes until they too changed, yellow and feral, but laced with humanity.

"My God," said Snape after a moment. That was his only coherent thought, startled into speaking to himself. He didn't even protest when the wolf, who was whining softly, nudged his hand as any dog would do. It cried and cried and occasionally howled, and Snape, surprising even himself, knelt down on the floor next to it.

Stroking at the wolf's back, he said, in no more than a comforting whisper, "She loves you. She's waiting for you, so is Black. You're going to be fine."

The wolf huffed a little, turning and laying its head on Snape's shoulder. "You're fine, Remus. Shh." A long stroke down his back, a scratch behind the sensitive ears. Snape idly wondered whether Lupin would remember what he said. The answer is yes, yes he would.