InsaneJournal

Appreciated

                                                                                                                                                      

                "Your pining over Malfoy is disgracing Slytherin."

 

                "Shut up, Millicent," said Pansy as she laid in her bed, on her stomach, voice muffled in the pillow.

 

                "He'll never marry you. He doesn't even appreciate you." Millicent's cat jumped up onto her bed to greet her as she made her way across the room. She gave it a pat and a quick stroke in response.

 

                "I said shut up."

 

                "Look at it logically, Pansy. He just became a Death Eater, yes? Well, no real time for playing with the likes of the rest of us. He hasn't really shown you genuine affection since the Yule Ball."

 

                Pansy rolled over slowly, and Millicent could see this through the crack in the curtains.

 

                "I think it's the Dark Lord coming back that did that. What with his father in jail. And there was the Inquisitorial Squad opportunity, of course. He really doesn't seem as if he's got the time for you anymore, Pansy. He's much too busy now. In fact, Potter almost killed him last week. Snape's harassing him, too. His only real support is his mad old auntie and a ghost."

 

                "A ghost?" asked Pansy, turning on her side to look at Millicent, tears drying in their tracks on the sides of her face.

 

                "Moaning Myrtle. He won't talk to you, or to Blaise, or to Crabbe and Goyle even. He's talking to that whiny old ghost instead. He's not interested, so you might as well call things off and make it easy on him. Get involved with Nott or someone, someone who doesn't live only to serve the Dark Lord. Someone who'll live only to serve you."

 

               

 

                "I hate to say it," said Pansy, watching Millicent from just inside the door as she entered their dorm, "but you were right."

 

                Millicent looked up from her Runes essay. "I usually am."

 

                Pansy rolled her eyes. She sat down on Millicent's bed and watched her write for a moment.

 

                "Look, you're better off now, Pansy. Even if you can't tell that yet."

 

                "He seemed relieved. I feel like these past years between us were a joke."

                       

                "They were as real as things between two students can be, at least for a while. But he's changing, and you're, well, you're not. Very few people are going to be able to relate to him well enough to form a connection with him right now. It would be un-Slytherin to simply wait it out."

 

                "That's a good point."

 

                Millicent placed a hand on Pansy's thin arm. "Yes. Now, have you thought about any other prospects?"

 

                "You mentioned Nott. Do you think he'd go for someone like me? A bit of a lone wolf, isn't he?"

 

                "Someone like you?"

 

                "Popular."

 

                "Ah." Millicent paused for a moment, looking Pansy over. Pansy's skin tingled oddly as she felt her body being scrutinized. "Popularity shouldn't matter as much as what you look like. You know boys. They like something small, like you. You have nice eyes as well."

 

                "So, what are you suggesting, that I go with someone because they like my body?"

 

                "When in Slytherin," said Millicent with a rather graceful shrug for her large frame.

 

                "You're not being very positive about all this," said Pansy, straightening her skirt.

 

                "Yes, well it's not very positive. Don't you think I know what people are like about being fit? Look at me for a moment, Pansy. I daresay most would find me sexually repulsive." She smirked as if amused, though it hurt to say it.

 

                "That's terrible," said Pansy angrily, moving to sit on her own bed.

 

                "That's life, Pansy. Now, are you going to try for Nott?"

 

 

 

                "Too popular, too pretty," said Pansy with a sigh, sitting down rather dejectedly.

 

                "Too pretty? Wow, if I wanted to, I could probably get a date with him, if his standards are ugly and unpopular."

 

                "You're not really all that ugly, Millicent," said Pansy.

 

                Millicent raised an eyebrow. "Have you seen me?"

 

                "No, really," said Pansy, looking her over. "You aren't. If I were Nott, I would go out with you."

 

                "Then I am ugly," said Millicent with amusement.

 

                "That's not what I meant. I'd go out with you if I were any of the Slytherins."

 

                "You are one of the Slytherins."

 

                "You know, the Slytherin boys."

 

                Millicent shrugged. "Boys aren't everything."

 

                "They're supposed to be," said Pansy softly.

 

                "Well," said Millicent with a glance at Pansy, "I don't like them much."

 

 

 

                It took Pansy a while to get the "don't like boys much" comment. But now she thought she understood that glance Millicent had given her while saying it.

 

                She saw her in the library and leaned in to whisper in her ear, "How do you feel about girls, then, Millicent?"

 

                Millicent casually looked up from the book, turning to face her. "Oh, hello Pansy," she said. Inside she wasn't quite as calm as she was acting.

 

                "Hello, Millicent." Pansy moved over to a nearby shelf and scanned titles. After a while she found one that didn't seem too bad, for a History of Magic text anyway, but she couldn't reach it properly. She stood on tiptoes, but still could not get to it.

 

                "Hold still," said Millicent, and Pansy nearly shivered at the deep voice of her long-time dorm mate. Millicent reached up and grabbed the book for her, handing it to her before sitting back down as if to ignore her presence.

 

                "You never answered me," said Pansy, seating herself across from Millicent.

 

                "Took you long enough to figure it all out, did it?"

 

                "I think maybe me too."

 

                Millicent looked up at that, stunned.

 

                "Or maybe just one in particular."

 

                "Wh-who?" Millicent's fingers tightened on the book in her hands.

 

                "Er . . . M-Mandy Brocklehurst." Pansy looked around suspiciously for a moment. Millicent felt ice fill her chest cavity.

               
"Really?" asked Millicent casually, shifting a bit to try and settle the pain inside of her. She'd hoped maybe, for a moment, Pansy had told her all this to start something between them. Apparently that wasn't the case.

 

                "Let's speak of this elsewhere," said Pansy, manicured hand prying one of Millicent's from the book and leading her back to their dormitory.

 

                "She's rather pretty," Millicent conceded. "And a pure-blood. She's perfect."

 

                "No, no she isn't," said Pansy.

 

                "Why do you want her, then?" Millicent raised an eyebrow as the cat greeted her, rubbing up against her ankles.

 

                "I was just saying that."

 

                "Who is it, then? It's not Weasley?"

 

                "Ew!"

 

                "Or . . . even Granger?"

 

                "No, no," said Pansy. "Millicent."

 

                "What?"

 

                "It's you."

 

                There was a sudden lightheadedness, a sudden stuffiness of the air that had Millicent moving toward the bed and fairly collapsing into a seated position on top of it. That it was Pansy's bed didn't matter.

 

                "Don't believe me?" said Pansy with a quirk of her lip.

 

                "Look, Pansy, it's not funny to tease me about it," said Millicent, wrapping her arms around herself.

 

                Pansy stiffened. "You're right. I'm sorry." She practically bolted from the room.

 

 

 

                It was past curfew when Pansy returned. Millicent was still up, though the lights were out and she was lying in bed already.

 

                "Millicent?" called Pansy as she slipped out of her uniform.

 

                Millicent didn't answer at first.

 

                "Are you up?" whispered Pansy.

 

                "Yes," said Millicent, cursing herself internally for actually answering.

 

                "Get that creepy cat off your bed, would you? I'm coming in for a moment."

 

                Millicent sighed, pushing the cat onto the floor and accepting her fate, whatever it was to be.

 

                Millicent never expected Pansy to come through the curtains in the manner she did—naked. Millicent's cheeks flushed brightly in the dim light.

 

                Pansy, so nervous she was shaking slightly, slid next to Millicent and lay down, on top of the covers.

 

                "What are you doing?" asked Millicent, trying to sound cold, but the shakiness in her voice served to ruin the effect of the tone.

 

                "I'm just seeing what it's like."

 

                "What what's like?" Millicent asked as Pansy's fingers unbuttoned her pajama top carefully and precisely.

 

                "What it's like to be appreciated." Millicent felt her mouth go dry as Pansy peered up at her for a moment. "Sit up so I can take this off of you," she said.

 

                Millicent warily sat up and dropped the pajama shirt over the side of the bed, sitting under the scrutinizing eyes of Pansy Parkinson. She wanted to cover up her stomach, but to do so would show her vulnerability. She merely let Pansy see her in all her imperfection.

 

                After a moment, Pansy leaned in to kiss her. It was awkward because she'd never done it before, but Pansy had at least kissed Draco a few times. After a while, Pansy leaned in to whisper in Millicent's ear. "I don't think you're ugly at all," she said, wrapping her arms around Millicent as best she could, their chests pressing together.

 

                "You don't?" said Millicent, quietly, eyes almost looking fearful.

 

                "Shh." Pansy said, resting her head on Millicent's shoulder. They sat like that for a good few minutes until Millicent relaxed under Pansy. "I have an idea," said Pansy suddenly.

 

                Sitting up, she told Millicent to spread her legs. "Now, er, you know what to do," said Pansy, grinning.

 

                Millicent stared at her for a moment, then lowered a hand.

 

                "I may not sound it," said Pansy, "but I'm a bit shy, so you go ahead and keep up the good work, and in the meantime I'll help out." Millicent only looked confused for a moment, before Pansy lowered her head to one of her breasts and flicked her tongue across the nipple. Millicent moaned loudly.

 

                "There we are," murmured Pansy against the breast. She flicked her tongue across it again. Millicent's stomach clenched at the sensation and she groaned.

 

                "Pansy," she gurgled, raising an arm to stifle her noises as she felt Pansy's tongue on her sensitive flesh, feeling as if her body were being pleasurably turned inside out as she rubbed at her clit.

 

                Pansy wanted to hear Millicent, though. In the dorm, all alone, there was nothing to stop her. She delicately moved Millicent's arm, still licking. Millicent moaned even more loudly. She was arching into the movements of the tongue in a way Pansy found so incredibly gorgeous, she had to reach down and touch her own clit. It had been throbbing and throbbing relentlessly at Millicent's gorgeously reactionary body.

 

                Pansy thought, as she began to suck at the nipple and Millicent arched and cried out and trembled, that she may actually fall in love with the girl. She'd never had sex with Draco, but, oh, this surely beat sex with a man by a mile. How gorgeous Millicent was! She nibbled slightly at the hard, tormented nipple, and Millicent's second hand lowered.

 

                Sliding a finger into herself as well as the touch to her own clit, Millicent groaned and made sweet little keening noises that made Pansy wonder at how truly sensitive Millicent's nipples were and then nip at it some more. Eventually, she moved onto the second one, leaning across the girl's stomach to do so, feeling the tension beneath her, the first one drying in the air. Millicent bucked even more, it seemed, and Pansy would have feared being thrown off were it not so amazing to feel.

 

                For the first time in her life, Pansy felt powerful. For the first time in her life, Millicent felt beautiful. Millicent came first, very hard, trembling and staring with wide blue eyes at Pansy. Pansy just grinned and rubbed herself, lying down on the bed. It didn't take much, and all Millicent had to say was a fucked-sounding, groaned sort of, "I think I love you, Pansy," and Pansy was coming.

 

                She spread salve gently over Millicent's poor, abused nipples, and then looked into Millicent's eyes. They smiled at each other.