InsaneJournal

                He felt like a girl who'd been dumped, even though he was a full-grown man who'd just done the dumping. He even bought some ice cream in some chocolate, caramel, pecan, what-have-you flavor that made him feel as if his heart was going to explode after he ate it. He hadn't eaten that much sugar at one time in years.

                He both reveled in the fact he was alone and hated it. Grandfather Prince still wasn't speaking to him, the ghostly git, and he didn't have a television. There may have been a radio, somewhere, but he hadn't the slightest where to look for it. And anyway, as he soon found out, an angry Malfoy was plenty entertainment enough.

                "Merlin! What the bloody hell are you doing?" He gaped, staring at Severus.

                "I'm eating ice cream."

                "Severus."

                "What?" he snapped.

                "You're eating ice cream. You are eating ice cream."

                Severus stared at the carton in his hands, then back up at Lucius. "Fuck off."

                "What happened?"

                "Fuck off," he repeated, brandishing the spoon.

                Lucius raised an eyebrow. "It's a good thing that I came to see you. First of all, Malfoys do not 'fuck off'. Second of all, where were you these past couple weeks?"

                "Owls deliver letters to me, you know. Hell, owls would deliver something to Bellatrix Lestrange. They aren't picky."

                "Well forgive me if I enjoy speaking to my friends face to face. Now hand me the ice cream."

                Severus stared at him as if a runespoor had just crawled out of his arse.

                "It's for your own good."

                "I was at Lupin's house," Snape said after a moment.

                Lucius looked surprised, but he held his hand out for the ice cream still.

                "No," barked Severus. "It was either the ice cream or the information. We had a deal."

                ". . . No we didn't!" said Lucius.

                Severus handed him the ice cream. Lucius placed it back in the freezer with distaste, then coming back into the sitting room. "So you had a falling out, then?"

                "We weren't dating!" he snapped.

                Lucius sighed, sitting next to him. "Severus, I never implied that you were."

                "Oh." He blinked. "Well, then."

                "Yes. So," Lucius brushed some of his hair behind his ear, "what happened?"

                "I don't even know. It was nice, for a while, but then he suggested a threesome with that . . . that . . . klutz, and—"

                "A pretty klutz?"

                "Well, yes."

                "A nice klutz?"

                "Irreparably so."

                "And you no longer hate Lupin?"

                "Would you?"

                "I suppose he did save you, yes. And Draco admitted he was an unthreatening specimen of werewolf."

                "Clearly one in a million," sneered Severus.

                "I'm not arguing with you there. So, the threesome thing, was this a onetime deal, or more of a relationship?"

                "A relationship!" Severus seethed. "They want a relationship with me! Even after I told the wolf I probably wouldn't ever feel up to . . . . Well."

                "Intercourse," finished Lucius. "No harm in trying, is there? Is this klutz Narcissa's niece, by any chance?"

                "Again. Irreparably so."

                "Well. A werewolf and the half-blood daughter of the blood traitor sister of my wife. I'd like to say I'm pleased."

                "Your discomfort eases the awkwardness of this conversation. Perhaps I'll take them up on it after all."

                Lucius looked a little green. "Well, you know we're both here for you no matter what."

                Severus didn't have time to formulate a proper response before Tonks was there, Lupin gripped tightly in her hand by the bicep. "Oh. Good morning, Malfoy."

                "Good morning," he said. "Why look, Severus, it's the pest control."

                "Nice to see you too," Remus gritted out.

                "Well," said Severus to Tonks, "I see you recognized my signal."

                "For pest control?"

                "No, for unwanted guests. Lucius was on time, but you two are late. Unsurprisingly."

                "You notice that the two of them haven't spoken yet," noted Tonks.

                "Quite. If the werewolf knows 'stay', you could release it and join me in the kitchen. I know for a fact Snape has a container of some abominably over-the-top ice cream. Somehow," he said, eyes flicking to her brightly-colored hair, "I think you would approve."

                "Chocolate?"

                "Oh, I'm certain."

                And with that, the ice cream he bought had been used against him, and now he was alone with Lupin.

                "Look, I'm sorry I rushed you."

                Severus shrugged. "It was just a bad idea."

                "No, no it wasn't. I thought you wanted it too," he said softly.

                "Look. My first relationship was based upon . . . ."

                "Rape."

                He sneered at Lupin. "I was going to say 'based upon a lie'."

                "That too. But people have worked through it before. We could get you a shrink?"

                "No way am I letting some lime green-clad Healer poke their magical fingers through this mind."

                "Lucius and I are the only ones who know, aren't we?"

                "Yes."

                "I see."

                "No, you don't. Get Aurora Borealis in here, why don't you?" said Snape. "And, Lucius, you stay in there and salvage the rest of the ice cream."

                "Why?" called Lucius from the kitchen. "You're not going to need it anymore, sandwiched between her and him, are you?"

                "Do as I say or I'll tell Narcissa you went to the gay quidditch match without her."

                Lucius sighed and put the ice cream away as Tonks stepped back into the sitting room. "You know that was a business thing," he pouted, but merely sat and waited for the others to give him the go ahead that all was right.

                Severus made to open his mouth, but Tonks interrupted him. "Three of us, one house, what's the harm?"

                "You're suggesting a move?"

                She nodded.

                "I don't know," he said, looking about exaggeratedly, "How will I ever find another place with such sentimental value."

                "Sentimental value?"

                "Yes, you see, the kitchen was where mother would slit her wrists with the knives, and this room, well, this was my father's favorite place to beat me bloody, and my current bedroom is where they used to both perform what they call a rape in marriage—yes, both of them, and would you like me to stop now?" he asked with a barely-suppressed smirk as he looked at her paling face and paling hair.

                "Yes, thank you."

                "You forgot the ghost," said Remus. "Where is he?"

                "Oh, that's right! Blast!" Severus ran a hand over his face. "He's off hiding. Avoiding me, you see. But this won't do. How am I going to sell the place when it's clearly haunted?"

                "Muggles believe in ghosts," said Tonks. "But you've probably got a point. So, keep the place but spend your nights at Remus's."

                "I get the guest bedroom."

                "Most of the time," said Remus.

                "That's . . . acceptable."

                "Good."

                "So."     

"Right."

                "All finished?" called Lucius, entering the room. "Well," he said, sounding choked, "good luck." He couldn't even manage a false smile.

                "He took that rather well," said Remus after Lucius left.

                "Expect a howler," said Severus.

                A howler did arrive, from Narcissa, and as they listened to her yell about Remus's animal nature and, well, Tonks's as well, Severus felt rather self-conscious. Until Tonks started cracking up, that is. Lupin joined her, and even Snape had to smirk.

                This new pattern of life was noticeably awkward at first. He'd known Lupin most of his life, but not Tonks. She was rather more of a slob than the other two combined, and it pissed Severus off until he snapped at her one day, and when Remus wouldn't immediately back her up, they all laid some ground rules.

                Tonks snapped at him when he wouldn't join them in the newly-enlarged bed, but Remus took her out of the room and explained Snape's situation to her.

                "I'm sorry," she said, standing in the doorway to what was, again, his room.

                "It isn't as if I'm unused to being misunderstood," he said.

                "Ever had sex with a woman?"

                He flushed in a very becoming way.

                "I expect that's a no."

                Suddenly, Severus had no idea why he was there. He'd never had completely willing sex in his entire life. Tonks held her hand out to him to help him up, when he flinched and stood, pushing past her. She followed him as he made to find Remus.

                "This is a big bloody mistake. Find someone else to be 'the other third of your soul', you ponces, because this is all wrong. My soul is just as damaged as my heart and body are. I have nothing to offer you. Do you understand what I'm saying?!" he went from talking to yelling, glaring at Remus, who was merely staring blankly at him.

                "Yes. And it sounds like you have it allll figured out, don't you, Severus? Because when things get tough, Snivellus goes running, doesn't he? Right? Going to cry now?"

                There did look to be the start of tears in the dark eyes, and Snape blinked them back furiously.

                "How do you know you can't do your share of participation in this relationship when you've not even tried?"

                Severus hissed. "This is ludicrous! This is . . . is . . . true." He slowly sank down into one of the chairs at the table.

                "I'll fix you something to eat. You just sit next to Tonks." Tonks took her place next to Snape and placed a hand on his, but he pulled it away and she frowned.

                "I have to teach Harry Occlumency when classes start again," he said finally. Tonks and Remus both looked at him with interest. "What if he finds out?" He really couldn't take that. If Potter discovered he was raped, or even that he was abused as a child, or anything at all potentially embarrassing, he'd lose it. He'd absolutely lose it.

                "A Pensive?" Remus suggested. "Dumbledore has one, right?"

                "He won't let me put . . . certain things into it. Says I'm still recovering."

                "Can't you just put some into a bottle? Memories do that, right?"

                Snape ran a finger over his lip in thought. "Not a bad idea, that."

                "And in the next couple weeks we can have you sit in the room as we have sex. Would you be alright with that?" Tonks asked a bit anxiously.

                "I think that might work," he said quietly.